Beth

This article is part of a blog series where Grumo attempts to define common terms in a nonsensical and sometimes politically incorrect way. Please do take all statements with a grain of salt or acetyl-para-aminophenol.

Beth is a nocturnal free dancing spirit living in a beer bottle made of semi transparent indulgence.

Her long body, fluorescent white skin, small green eyes, sensual smile and strong yet feminine jaw are all majestic in a Renaissance kind of way.

As the night unfolds this cosmopolitan princess transforms into an abstract mixture of nonsensical words and gestures which only seem to gain a seducing sinuous coherence when entranced by their musical muse.

Once on the dance floor Beth becomes a mesmerizing queen oblivious to the lusty gazes of suitors hoping to conquer a bit of her queendom.

In the morning, and only after a due dose of caffeine Beth will struggle to be her elegant self again and blend into the land of the living. Yet even when immersed in her daily routine she won’t be able to stop herself from daydreaming about cute baby elephants, adorable fluffy kittens, and baby orangutans which she would love forever and ever.

If only proven by her addiction to cheesy romance TV, mindless Internet games and of course lots and lots of chocolate, Beth perfectly embodies which could only be defined as modern hedonistic royalty.

Her competitive nature makes winning another of her addictions be it games, sports, or arguments. Although sometimes her desire to win can get the better of her it’s that same competitiveness that motivates her to perfect her passions, being one of them running.

Running is the healthier counterpart of Beth’s struggle to clear her mind from the weight of the past and frustration of her present…

[…Bzzz Whirrr Bzzz.. this part of Beth’s definition has been lost.. or censured by marriage saving leprechauns]

[…3, 2, 1.. Resuming transmission..]

…Finally, another day is about to give its ghost and as hot water fills up the tub, she now just looks forward to simmer in her fantasies with a good old book in hand.

BETH
by Grumo